Dylanisms V

Dylan had a boo-boo, that I needed to put medicine on.  I accidentally got some on his shirt.  

Dylan said, "It's okay Mommy, I never bite my shirt."

******
So Dylan had on his bathrobe, and was struggling to put it on.  I asked, "Dyl, can I help you?"
"No Mommy," he replied.  "I'm a good knotter."

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The funniest thing about Dylan these days is his irrationality.    I don't always remember the context; but more that the conversation was ridiculous.  For example, I had asked Dyl to put on his shoes, as we were leaving.  Something got lost in translation because he responded, " Mama, my legs are the things that touch the ground!!!"     ok.

*****

Meanwhile, Dylan ran into the fence.  Oh, don't be alarmed; it happens all the time.  We console him by acknowledging the presence of the (wall, fence, door, curb, ex. hard surface).   Then we give him an out.  "You must have been running so fast that the wall didn't have time to move out of the way!!!"

Seriously, in this instance, it didn't work.  He ran into the fence and freaked out.  I brought him ice.  Big mistake.

"Ice? No, I want cold ice!  Why can't you bring me cold ice?"

Seriously?  What would be warm ice?

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We were getting ready for bed one night and Dylan asked me.  "Mommy, did you buy me, or make me?"

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Tonight, we returned from a talent show at Dyleva's school.  There were many acts, some had talent.  But there was a LOT of gymnastics.  Dylan was very excited.  "Mommy, I feel pumped now to do gymnastics.   I was a little jealous when I saw them."

*****

So Dyleva and I were looking at their baby books.  I have them filled with beautiful fotos, data, and anecdotal notes. There was a section in Dylan's about his favorite toys.  When he was a baby, apparently his favorite toys were his musical caterpillar, his giraffe, and his penis.  He looked up at me and nonchalantly said, "It still is."

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It's raining.  Been raining.  I finally heard the sum pump kick on.  I ask Dylan, after an hour, " Hey Dyl, can you go downstairs and see if there is any water on the floor?"

"Mommy, what do I do if there is?"  he asks.  

"Yell, '!Ay carumba!'"

Two minutes later, he comes back up and yells, "No ay carumba!"

*****

We come out of the doctor's office, and there is an Indian lady, on a bench,  speaking on the phone in Hindi.  We get in the car, a little later, Dylan says, "Hey Mommy, did you hear that woman speaking Spanish on the phone?"

"Yes Dyl," I answered, " But honey I don't think it was Spanish.  That woman was from India..." I explained.

He thought for a minute.  "Wow.  She came a long way."